[Cassiebsg]

I'm so sorry to hear about your mom, Dominique.
Your family seems to be rammed with a bad luck wave at the moment. Hope all gets well and on track soon though.

You are currently on a "no win" situation, whatever you choose to do. If you stay and help your mom, you'll may be missing out on your future; however if you go, you'll feel guilty about leaving your mom when she needed you, and that may also compromise your concentration and chances for the future.

Maybe you should ask your mom if she wants you stay or not... thought she might just say "go" and mean "stay"...
Also, is going abroad something like "it's now or never!" or can it be postpone a couple a months or a year?

[Smurfysmurf]

I am so sorry, Dom and I agree with Sandra...it's a no win situation.

If I remember correctly, you said you will be going to the UK...I am not sure how expensive it is to travel back and forth now..but would that be an option? Is there a neighbor or family member who can stay with your Mum while you are gone?

[Ritter_Schlumpfenherz]

I am so sorry, Dom and I agree with Sandra...it's a no win situation.

If I remember correctly, you said you will be going to the UK...I am not sure how expensive it is to travel back and forth now..but would that be an option? Is there a neighbor or family member who can stay with your Mum while you are gone?

Yep, I wanted to go to the UK, but I could neither travel and forth, for I wanted to take a Cambridge certificate (Cambridge ESP, to be precisely) and that certainly requires a lot of study time. Unfortunently, all family members apart from my dad live in the Czech Republic. Talking about our neighbours, we are in touch with a couple next door, who are about the same age as my parents. However asking her for help would be difficult as well, for they have to dissolve her father-in-law's household. I really don't want to talk about the young boys (who are even younger than me), for they are just loud, nasty and lazy and they do not give a damn about the house rules.


@Sandra: If I want to become a teacher, I have to go now, for our curricular will change a lot from summer semester 2014 onwards. Plus I am having another internship in my next free period (from mid February to April), at a famous archive.

[SmurfeeJo]

Hi Rittter,

You and your family have been through so much lately - it just isn't fair.

My parents are in their 80's and they were both unwell a couple of years ago and I was working full time and studying at university at night. It was SO hard to do everything and my studying suffered. I asked the university if I could change to off-campus correspondence and that helped lots and I was able to pass my subjects and my lecturers were very understanding. Is that something you could do until the end of this year? Maybe Cambridge offer distance education courses?

Wish I could do something more to help you but please know that I'm thinking of you.

Cheers,
Jo.

[Ritter_Schlumpfenherz]

I asked the university if I could change to off-campus correspondence and that helped lots and I was able to pass my subjects and my lecturers were very understanding. Is that something you could do until the end of this year? Maybe Cambridge offer distance education courses?

Wish I could do something more to help you but please know that I'm thinking of you.

Cheers,
Jo.

@Jo: Thank you for your kind words and for your advice. (It's so useful to hear some advice, from a person who was in a similar situation.)
Well, my English studies require that just have to go abroad (at least eight weeks) instead of studying by distance. (This option would not be accepted by our instructor.)

[Cassiebsg]

Dom, how about maybe hire someone to help out your mom with what she needs for a couple hours a day? Would that be a possible option (economically speaking?) And then have friends/neighbors to help out, just in case theres an emergency?

I really can't think of another option, since your going abroad seems to be a "now or never" type of situation. And even though your mom will feel sad for you going, am pretty sure she would not like to be the reason you put your future in jeopardy.

[Ritter_Schlumpfenherz]

@Sandra: Hiring someone is very expensive. We cannot afford my stay abroad and any of the nursing services at the same time.

[Smurfysmurf]

do you not have "Pflegeversicherung" in Germany? I know things have changed a lot since I left, but I thought it would pay for diakonische services like a nurse visit, housework as well as meals on wheels?

[Ritter_Schlumpfenherz]

@Moey: Yep, the "Pflegeversicherung" still exists, but it surely doesn't cover all expenses, plus you need to hand in an application and it takes several weeks until they get back to you, if they allow the application or if the motion was defeated.