Sorry to hear about your cat, Lia.
If you decide to get a new cat, I would recomend getting one from an animal shelter (I got Macky in one). Not only will you be giving a lovely home to a cat that needs it, you also get one that's healthy and help support the amazing work they do.
Mille's the first female cat I ever own, however, much of her behaviour reminds me of Smokey. He didn't like to be picked up either, but instead loved to lay by ones side. And he also used to sleep on my pillow next to my head (although, Mille will lay on my face if I let her

, Macky's happy with laying on my legs, or under the sheets).
There are those who believe that life here began out there...