A monk, Gargamel and a swimmer smurf walk into a bar and the monk smurf says....................
....this is a nice place. Then the Swimmer says, "yes, this is a nice bar, but I once swam to this bar across the forest called Jolly's Tavern and that was a better one. At this bar, you buy a drink, you buy another drink, and then the manager himself will buy your third drink!"
Gargamel & the Monk agreed that sounds like a nice place.
Then Gargamel says, "Yeah, that's a nice bar, but where I come from, there's a better one. Over near my Castle, there's this great pub called Hogatha's. At this bar you buy a drink, then the manager buys you a drink. You buy another drink, then the manager buys you another drink and so on and so on.....even lets Azrael join in the fun"
Everyone agrees that sounds like a great bar.
Then the Monk says, "You think that's great? Back in the village there's this great bar called Syd's Saloon and they buy you your first drink, they buy you your second drink, they buy you your third drink, and then, they take you in the back and get you laid!"
"Wow!" said Garamel & the Swimmer. "That's fantastic! Then the Swimmer says "Did that actually happen to you?" ..... "No," the Monk replied, "but it happened Smurfette!"
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PS - one more for the road
Guy goes into a bar. Big guy, but his head is the size of an orange.
Goes up to the bartender, orders a beer. Bartender serves him and asks why a big guy like him has such a small head.
So the guy tells him his story: He was walking along the beach when he stumbled upon a genie lantern. Out comes this beautiful, beautiful genie who says, "I'll grant you one wish . . . but i won't sleep with you."
Guy says, "Ok then, how 'bout a little head?"
Attom 
